Have an Accessible Holiday
By Jennifer Hemmeyer
The stockings are hung by the chimney with care, but of your guests’ needs are you fully aware?
Articles abound on the internet advising you how to be the hostess with the mostest and pull off a flawless holiday party. In her article, “Spending Time with the Family During Holidays”, Kait Fowlie encourages her readers to do what they know they do well, prepare ahead of time, dress the part, adopt a team effort mentality and give their homes a holiday glow.
However, when I ventured to find tips on how to host family and friends with a disability, short of an excellent article on how to get your home wheelchair accessible, not much was available. Regardless of the specific disability, a few overarching points apply.
First and foremost, explore what would be helpful. Have a conversation with the person and simply ask what could create a comfortable experience for him/her. This both removes the guesswork and lets your guest know that you care about his/her needs. It’s not about getting it perfectly right, it’s about making the effort.
Second, presume that the individual with the disability wants to participate in as much of the action as possible, rather than being parked on the sidelines. If you’re sharing a family slide show, ask your chatty niece to describe the images to your visually impaired uncle. If the kids are playing Chutes and Ladders, have them set it up on a table rather than the floor so that your father-in-law, who uses a wheelchair, can play too.
Third, know that how you view the disability can be more limiting to your guest than the disability itself. Assume a high level of competence and let your guest with a disability advise you on what he/she needs.
A few specific suggestions follow, although of course, each person is unique.
Mobility Impairment
For those guests using a wheelchair or walker, make sure the walkway to the front door is not slippery. Provide a clear path from the door to the gathering place. Decorations provide beauty but can get tangled in wheels. Keep the floor clear of toys, shoes and gifts that may pile up as people arrive.
Have your guest sit where she/he would be most comfortable and in a location that’s easy to access. Ask if a delivered plate of appetizers would be simpler than maneuvering through the buffet.
Hearing Impairment
“The most stressful part of the holidays for me is sitting at a big table with everyone talking across the table,” says Virginia Bruce. Despite a good pair of hearing aids with a voice enhancement setting, Bruce still can follow just scraps of conversation. Sitting in a central spot at the table enables her to read the lips of each speaker and get much more out of the experience.
Bruce also finds that minimizing background noise, such as music, helps. Sitting with her back to the noisiest spot in the room, like the kitchen, greatly increases her chances of hearing more.
“Having people speak clearly and directly to me makes me more comfortable. Having people shout at me does not,” explains Bruce. When she asks people to repeat what they’ve said, the worst thing they can do is say “never mind.” This implies that she’s not worth the effort.
Vision Impairment
Words are my friends, and not just because I enjoy writing. Since I’m not seeing my environment, the more verbal information I’m given about who’s present, where the seating options are, where people are depositing their potluck contributions, the more comfortable I am.
I prefer to take someone’s arm over being pushed into a room or placed by my waist (it’s happened) onto a couch. Put my hand on the back of the chair, and I’ll get it from there.
I can find obstacles with my cane or guide dog, but I do appreciate a heads up about a major furniture rearrangement. At a recent holiday gathering, a baby gate was installed to bar the new dog from full house roaming privileges. I found this with my shin, as no one mentioned the addition. Often times, I get the, “I forget you can’t see,” comment, which is charming in a sense.
Speaking of my esteemed furry companion, Fred is an excellent dog. With that said, I like to know if the hosting home houses another fantastic furry creature, just so I know what to expect. During a meal, Fred tucks neatly under the table or my chair, but an end seat definitely helps this process.
Finally, among all the tips given on this topic by the Disability Resource Center at the University of Georgia, one stands out. Relax. Remember what the objectives of family and friends gathering at the holidays are—enjoying each other, sharing food and stories and celebrating. Know that reaching out to your guest with a disability is better than not considering accommodation at all. Happy holidays.
|
